"to improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often."
- winston churchill

LIFE .. in the eyes of me.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY AMANDA!!!

debbie's phone call. shower. banana split blizzard @ dairy queen. mall w/ adam. "he thought we were a couple!" (no more shopping!) visited romeo. home. reading is fun. chuck e cheese w/ the cousins & friend. "what if i give them more??" thanks again randy!! =) home. dinner. called amanda.

* go to todai by the 22nd!!

clare: haha "we're driving behind a sewage truck..(teresa in the background mMmmMm!!)"

haha.. yea. shortened version of my day since my computer hates me & the nice long entry i had vanished. =(

so i was curious about what other people thought about a certain topic.. so i asked alan & clare.. and so yea.. haha.. the question was: do you think guys are.. intimidated by girls that are independent?

alan: i duno depends om the guy tho
alan: i think it mite intimidate some
me: how come
alan: cuz they use to grls being all givin in
alan: like needy type
alan: sterotypicalmess

clare: i feel that is why some guys are going out with girls who are really clingy and needy
clare: i think some guys, not all, are threatened by girls who can speak their mind and can be on their own..because that means that they won't be relying on them 24/7..and that means they can drop them like a hot potato at any time
clare: boys and their insecurities
clare: hahaha
clare: weaknesses --
clare: yeah
me: haha
me: yeaaaa
me: it sucks..
clare: those guys are not REAL men
clare: cuz if they were, they wouldn't even be worrying about it

i dont know.. it kind of makes it sucky for those who ARE independent, but the girls having that kind of "stereotype" where we're supposed to be clingy & giving into the guys & meeting their needs.. is.. sorry to say.. but it's BULLSHIT. if guys have their own thing going on.. why cant the girls?? grr.. whatever. those guys need to catch up to TODAY.. ugh.

k hi. how was YOUR day? =) you should IM me & tell me. or better yet, call. i miss chatting with some of you! haha.. or hearing some of your voices! or what would be even better - we should hang out & catch up! haha.. i'm talking like people actually read this.. =/
* teresa 9:36 PM l


Tuesday, June 29, 2004

[ monday, o6.28.o4 ]

such a FUN day!! =DD first off - ADAM called me!! i havent talked to him in forever or SEEN him!! which was weird because he's the only guy i've been hanging out w/ on a somewhat regular basis.. soooo yea!! you KNOW we hung out! haha.. =)) we ate @ jalapenos.. or i did w/ him helping me. =P carne asada fries.. yummy! then we went shopping at utc. weeeeeeee.. there's a cute guy that works @ the macys there.. mm.. sooo NiCE. haha.. adam bought a very nice shirt.. ^.~ visited lena at work. then back to get my kiDd. took pictures in that shopping center. haha.. sooo weird.

as for the 2nd part of my day.. clare came & picked me up. SO EVIL!!! rawrrr FREDDY!! haha.. not cooooL!! but yea. went to meet up w/ adam @ edwards. saw annie at work. and diana - i FOUND NEMO!! soooo nicee!! hehe.. yeaa. we watched 'the notebook'.. all i have to say is.. i liked it just as much as the book. =))) haha.. "dang.. people are crying..??" haha.. just cause we read the sequel! (yes, there is a sequel..) =P then we went to innout. "people turn to look at me when i go in!" haha.. funny stuff..

.. a GREAT DAY!! lots of FUN!! =DD

[ tuesday, o6.29.o4 ]

went to LA.. or more specifically - monterey park. (monica! haha.. =) my aunt got me a skirt. sooo nice. =)) and my little cousins now have turtles.. weeeeee.. "turtle turtle!!" haha.. yeaa.. i wanted to visit al of ex, but grrrr.. "soooo close, but sooo far!" =( so yea - that was my tuesday! or the somewhat eventful part of it..

people called me yesterday & today. you guys ROCK!! =)

me: yea.. youre TOO COOL to hang out with me!
naris: i was the one that called you!!
me: oh.. haha.. that's because i never call anyone..
naris: yeaa.. you dont!

boooo.. i suck. sorry! =( rawr. & i missed erick's call. =( but i called monica back.. GREAT conversation. =DD!! hehe.. dang. going down memory lane is good times. =)) 3 way. the BOYS. "i dont know how we did it! we talked at school, after school, & late at night.." hahaha.. i talked to my mom tonight too. haha.. grr.. she's all giving me a hard time for going shopping too much=spending money. blah.

aww!! i'm watching 'never been kissed' right now.. "JOSE?!" haha.. reminds me of bruce.. haha.. aww.. =) yea.. sidetracked.. =P

mm.. no though provoking things right now. sooo the end! =)

* note to may: send these to me please!!
feel it boy - beenie man ft. janet jackson
my sweetie - boa
one sweet day - boys II men ft. mariah carey
whats ya flava - craig david
devotion songs =)
just like yesterday - j
remember me this way - jordan hill
because i'm a girl - kiss
without you - kiss
cannon in d - pachebel
my bad - rayvon
a good man - rl
overjoyed - stevie wonder
our story - tension
looking back on today - the ataris
best friends - toy box
deep river - utada hikaru
eyes closed so tight - vi3

k thanks! hahaha.. =D
* teresa 11:04 PM l


Sunday, June 27, 2004

this weekend had it's moments.. =) =/

there's a bunny that has a death wish.. it's been running out in front of my car every time i pass a certain part going up my hill.. rawrr!! and of course, me being me, i always freak out.. =(

"i'm a nut!!" haha.. i dont like microphones at ALL!! not even diana's pretend one!! haha.. clare did lots of singing!! go bf!! =D haha.. cute songs!! "down by the bay where the watermelons grow.." .. "venus.." .. "5 little speckled frogs, sitting on a speckled log!" hehe.. yeaaa.. =)

* my computer hates me. and i hate it. *kick*

work is only cool when it's busy. otherwise, i'm super bored. so seriously - people should come visit meeee!! BIG THANKS TO CLARE for visiting me today!! you made my day!! =DD!! for the next 3 weeks, my schedule is the same.

fridays: 6:16-9:30 pm
saturdays & sundays: 1:00-6:00 pm

2nd floor. it's the fitting room in the corner. opposite of the juniors section. by ralph lauren. so yea. seriously. comeee!! please?? =))

i think i've lost chino. i dont know where it went!! =(

this week i need to:
- wash the kiDd
- clean roooom!!!!
- return/check out books
- bring cousins to chuckecheese
- r e f l e c t . . .

so i've noticed i've been hanging out a lot w/ clare, diana & michele. hey, no complaints. shoot. i LOVE it!! =) i miss hanging out w/ michele. we havent done that a lot. same goes to clare. & it's always nice hanging out w/ diana. sooo yayy.. life is peachy.. in the non sarcastic sense.. =)

they're going to kill the trees in the front & back yard tomorrow. i think. SADNESS!! trees are my friends! =)

so i gave my manager a note yesterday asking for certain days off.. she asks me today..

d: are you getting your wisdom teeth pulled out????
me: no..? i'm just going out of town because my dentist is out of town..
d: where's your dentist?
me: in las vegas..
- gives me a weird, unbeliving look-
me: i swear! my parents live there!

heh. YEA. BOOO!! while we're still on the topic of work, my coworker thanked me for being such a sweet girl and nice person to work with. =) soooo nice.. =))

so since this is getting pretty lengthly.. let's see how much longer i can write & hold people's attention. harhar. O=)

the square root of -2 is square root 2i. right? .. =/

i was looking @ everyone's info just now. (yea, i'm one of THOSE people.) but anyways - dana's caught my attention. the part where "relationships are cliche" .. and overrated? haha.. ughh.. these past few weeks have been just about that. & yea. they're dumb. maybe i'm only saying that because i'm freakn bitter, but whatever. seriously shouldnt have to stress about this ish.. but then - you see couples that have been together for awhile & you cant help but be envious.. jealous.. whatever..

mm.. how 'bout that chocolate!!...

i'm selfish. i want to be able to hang out with my las vegas friends just as much as i hang with my san diego friends. rawrr.. stupid complicated crap. distance. =(

haha.. 'complicated' - avril lavigne.. everytime i hear that song, i can hear/picture alex singing that song.. aww.. i miss al of ex!!

"do you like it daddy?" .. haha.. CLURR!! =P clare & i have fun conversations on the phone. weeeeeeeee.. i'm such a nerd. she lent me books & here i am blogging, but now i want to read, soooo yea. speaking of reading, did you read all of this?! haha.. sorry!! it sucked. =/

* take random pictures for dan.

--------------------------------

awwwwwwwww!! i just got off the phone with jackie!!!! i miss her!!!!! haha.. I WANT TO GO THIS SATURDAY!!!!! it's not FAIR!!!!! "i'm going to marry USD!" .. 'you just crushed all my dreams!!' hahaha.. GOOD STUFF.. for serious!! but seriously. i want to be there this saturday. <3 "yea, uh, i'll see you saturday!" .. rawr. i WANT to.....
* teresa 9:33 PM l


Friday, June 25, 2004

"it's been 2 minutes since you last said the F word.." - diana

BOOOOOOO!!!! i fuckn hate cussing!! ... so sorry bword. but THANKS much for listening & talking to me!! =)

i got to hang with michele this morning!! =) good stuff.. i watched her swim. haha.. while i sat there.. trying to get a tan. but yea - no?! =( .. "it doesnt match!!" BOO!! sucky. laying in the sun made me sleepy. i'm tired. rawr.

this is from my other half:

the frog jumped over the moon,
the clown fish peed over spoon,
this 'ryhme' makes an utter monsoon.
so i have to say,
i miss you like a sky misses the moon!

hahaha.. debbie, you're awesome. i miss you toooo!! *fLicK!*

so since i've been on the topic of FRiENDS the past couple of days.. what's another day, eh? .. yea.

"i've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in awhile and you must forgive them for that..."

i found this quote awhile ago & put it on my first blog. i like it. i have bittersweet feelings towards it. because i know people arent perfect - which only makes them human. "to err is human, to forgive is divine.." (is that right? bahh.) but.. what is TOO MUCH?? how much will "every once in awhile" be?? .. i always feel like the pushover whenever stuff happens. i always forgive easily. but it doesnt mean i forget. i seriously try to block out all the bad things, but.. just knowing that it happened once or twice or repeatedly.. kind of sucks.

i guess the reason why i always forgive people is because i hate the time lost with my close/good friends. i hate being mad. i hate holding grudges. sometimes it kills friendships. and like i said, my friends make me happy. and being mad at people is.. a waste of time. sometimes you have to get mad or have an argument to make your friendship stronger.. because yea - that's just a difference of opinion or whatever. ugh.

okay. i'm over this. for now. i need to shower.
* teresa 1:01 PM l


Thursday, June 24, 2004

simon: im too funny
simon: im making u happy
simon: :-)
me: yea you are
me: =)

aww.. he talks just like eva.. "i know right?" =)) blahh.. i miss my cousins in new york!! i want to visit!! i want to play with my new baby cousins!!

"youre probably at work making your ice cream.. so call me when you get this message.." - ew!! haha.. i'll never hear the end of THAT.. especially with dickson. haha.. good stuff.. which reminds me - i still need to call him back. i suck. =/

so last night was interesting. i kept getting confused. because my manager kept confusing me w/ someone else. oh man. what the crap. haha.. but she's sooooo cute. oh man. haha.. the way she was acting last night was like, well, have you guys seen the princess diaries? mia's friend - lilly? yea - her. she's like the older version of her character. it was funny. haha.. but yayy.. only worked til 3:30. but yea. i wasnt tired. so grr.. took me awhile to fall asleep. rawr.

cute/hott guys that smoke: what. a. waste. =/

did i mention my brother's going to be in sd for 2 weeks?! =DD

today was fun! i got to hang w/ diana!! haha..

saw people throwing up out of a car.. CHECK! (and EWW!)
saw someone get pulled over.. CHECK!
saw 2 guys kiss.. NO CHECK!! =( hahaha..

still a FUN night!! chuck e cheese was fun.. =D and eating in the freezing innout.. oh yes.. haha.. =))

okay. i'm done for now.. blah.. maybe more later.
* teresa 11:32 PM l


Wednesday, June 23, 2004

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY DIANA!!!
yayy! you're OLD now!! hehe.. hope you have a GREAT day bword!! i l word you ttm word!! <33

[ cont'd @ 7:02 pm ]

yayy.. i got to give my bword her present!! hehehe!! i love wrapping presents!! tissue paper & tape GALORE!! haha.. O=) so yea. i met up w/ my bword @ the marketplace. saw annie! paul came by. then rj! talked to paul. the world IS small! what the crap. but he's right. he has a point. =) so yea.

inventory last night was.. interesting. i SO hope i didnt screw up. we're only allowed 6 mistakes TOTAL - as in the wholeee store. =/ shit. haha.. mm.. hung out w/ sarah & kimberly. theyre funny. =) yayy.. i get to do this all again tonight!! =T

OH!! i got my plane ticketsss!! er. ticket. haha.. YAYYYY!! i'm SOOOO EXCiTED!!!! =DDD it sucks because.. i want to see a lot of people now.. but time. sigh. & i would do the whole 'lets have dinner/lunch somehwere' & invite everyone, but rawr. that sucks. i want to see my k & d most definitely. i'd also like to see monica, brian, amanda, charles, sam, hm.. will jonson be in town?? mm.. i hope alex will be in town.. weeeeeeee.. that'd be AWESOME!! =D

speaking of awesomeness, HOOBASTANK is going to be in las vegas on july 16th. siiigh! i wish i could go! blar.

so i was looking at the comments left on my xanga & this one from nadia has been making me think. (YEA! i've been thinking lots.. yayy summer.. yayy lots of free time.. yayyy something..) "never depend your happiness on others.. never." i dont know. if that were said to me the summer after junior year, i'd agree. now i'm at the point where i dont know anymore. i know being dependent upon others IS a bad thing.. but others do make me happy. thus, creating happiness. i dont know. the other day i was having a talk w/ debbie about dependability & friends. it sucks when friends arent dependable. but the fact that there are dependable is what makes them friends and that makes you happy - just knowing they're there for you. and to me - friends make up a big part of my happiness.. because i know i can depend on a lot of them to be there for me. and me for them. friendship: it takes two to make one - explaining that quote in the previous entry. i guess the point of that comment was.. sometimes you've got to look out for yourself. and not rely/depend on everyone as much so there wont be as much disappointment in the end.

i dont know what the point to this babbling is, but.. i am glad i have certain people in my life that make me happy. and that my happiness from you guys makes up for the unhappiness others may cause. i hope i make you guys as happy as you make me. =)

alright. that was semi cheesy. haha.. i'll stop here. work in an hour. then sleep til 2 in the afternoon again. haha.. then hanging w/ my bword.. we're going to look for NEMO! ^.~

the end of july will be great. cant wait! <33!!
* teresa 2:09 PM l


Tuesday, June 22, 2004

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AUSTUNY!!!
i hope you have a great day!! love you j oppa!! <33!!

3 hours before i have to drive to work.

12 more hours before i'm back home. -.-

yea. tonight - i'm scheduled to work 8pm-4:30am. YAYY!! .. i'm going to be crazy tired! blar. haha.. when i told my dad.. "that's BULLSHIT!" hahaha.. =))

i need to return that xacto knife. thanks for letting me come over & use your stuff clareee!! =D

yellowcard is going to be @ desert breeze park on july 4th. siiigh. i was supposed to go see them last year. ... =(

i like being creative. =)

i want to chop off my hair. (debb? clare?! haha..) hm. the last time i chopped off all of my hair was after i stopped liking the bum. rawr. that was.. 3 years ago? damnn. time flies.

i think.. what i hate.. is not talking to people you were once friends with. but i cant complain because that happens. but you know.. i still complain because it DOES suck. heh.. i'm complicated. whatever.

i want to take a nap, but i'm scared i wont wake up in time for work. but my head hurts. BOOO!! haha.. rawr. should i buy an energy drink? eHhh.. whatever. i would get the doubleshot (because it makes me hella jittery/aware.. haha..), but i'm not very fond of starbucks related.. stuff these past couple of weeks..

"the only way to have a friend is to be one.."
- ralph waldo emerson
* teresa 4:22 PM l


Monday, June 21, 2004

i want to go out.

i need to complete my secret mission!!!

[ cont'd @ 8:16 pm ]

dang!! that guy was cuuuuuuute!! ^.~ hahahaha.. smiley guys are.. =)) smiley. haha.. too bad it's clare's grandparent's neighbor!! (is that right?? =P) tooooo funny.. =)

so i'm doing inventory tomorrow!! YAYYY!! i wont have to deal w/ people!! but then i never really have to. hm. =T but i get to dress casual! even more great. =)) let's just hope i'm not done @ 4am - like they scheduled it to be. =(

my auntie may had a baby boy today!! =D

i talked to my 2nd mom today!! =) "teresa who?" =( boooo to kevin for being gone til saturday! i want to go camping with them!! rawr..

i really need to clean my room. lalalaaaaa..
* teresa 3:12 PM l


Sunday, June 20, 2004

wtf. my manager told me i was working 10:45-7:15 today, BUT the schedule online says 1-6. EW?! i'm going to go by the schedule online because 1) i think it's right & 2) that she was thinking of the other girl's schedule & 3) if i DO call & ask, i wont be able to until 11 because that's when they open. (they dont answer the phones before.. i think..)

soooo whatever. i really dont care. harhar.

i'm supposed to get good karma!! shooot. i was all paranoid the other day because i found a $20 bill on floor & uhh.. took it. but then, yesterday, i told loss prevention & they were like "yea, you can bring that up to lost & found" (but WTF.. who can claim MONEY?!) then he added in a comment "but if people dont reallly know.." hinting that i should keep it!! so i was like "EW!!" but yea. turned it in anyways. yayy.. i felt good. =)

OOOH!! & what's even better is i dont have to do iNVENTORY!! booo.. i wanted more hours, but they scheduled me for inventory days, just not for inventory!! sooo YAYYY!! i win!! =D haha.. oOweEeeeEeeee!! this week.. you guys should come visit me!! .. if you want. i get bored sometimes & no one talks to me!! =( [if you really do, come towards the end of my shift! haha.. =]

6.2o ll 1:00-6:00pm
6.22 ll 4:00-9:30pm
6.23 ll 4:00-9:30pm
6.25 ll 6:15-9:30pm
6.26 ll 1:00-6:00pm

ok. enough about work!! =)

let's see. what's been happening? last night, i got to hang w/ the GOOD TiMES people!! seriously. vinnie's right - i DiD miss hanging out w/ you guys!! hahaha.. good stuff.. the guys are great. but so are the girls. =) watching glenda play halo was fun! haha.. dont worry glenda, i'd do the same thing.. =P talking to christa was nice! =) i wish more of the girls were there though! we still need to put together the quote!! bleh! =T booo to me for leaving early because i had work today in the AM (but now it's at 1.. so i couldve stayed longer.. GRRR!!) whatevers. =) KAY!! HELLO!! "and blahblahblah".. haha.. =)

debb: i wanna come visit uuuu
debb: rawr

grrrrrr.. comeeeeeeee!! =)))

i decided to delete people's screennames from my buddy list because i dont talk to some people on my list & they dont talk to me, so yea. it only shrunk by like, 10 people. -.- yesss.. cause that's not random information.. o.O

debb sent me a cool song the other day & i want more!! the group is cool. i like their music.. yea. they're called BOND. =) the girls are super pretty too! too bad i cant find any songs on imesh. =( or maybe i'm just challenged like that.

* i miss my uRrsher cd.

d: i want a car too teresa
t: u can have minee
d: no
d: hahahah
t: hahaha
d: you know
d: that thing isnt even a car
d: its "shit"
t: youre MEAN!
t: its THE "shit"
t: hahaha
d: hahahah
d: dont kid yourself :]
t: hahaha

aww.. so mean!! haha.. my putt putt car. =P

i was looking at my quotes (yea, i take quotes i like & put them somewhere.. leave me alonee! =/) i like this one: "to love is to risk not being loved in return. to hope is to risk pain. to try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.." i tried. i hoped. i cared. i dont know. whatever. i liked this quote because it's about taking risks & yea. whatever. unfinished thought? CHYEAH!

ok. i've run out of things to blog about. hm. it's almost 11 now. haha.. oh WELL!! it's kind of sad how much i dont care. =)) only about the important stuff.. HOLY CRAP!! i forgot to order my dad's lighter. =( i'll do it when may comes home. =)

secret mission tiiime!! =)

[ cont'd @ 11:57 pm ]

mm.. i spoke too soon. i might have to do inventory.

i'm so.... tired. my head hurts.

i feel like i'm going CRAZY. @.@

i just remembered something that happened at work today. haha.. so i was giving my coworker some clothes from her section & she goes to get me clothes for my section & yea.. we heard a thump or bump or whatever & she was like "yea.. there's a couple in there" & i was just thinking "EW!! people DO that?!" yeaa.. UGHH..

j: you are so innocent
me: shaddup
me: =P
j: lol
j: *pinches your cheeks* so adorable!

ahhh.. that'll never get old. =(

yes, after much debate about it w/ fireboy, there IS cinnabun popcorn. RAWR!! why dont people believe me?! cmon now - i'm the girl that CANNOT LiE worth anything!! heh.. "family emergency.. in advance".. riiight. now i'm craving for that stuff. it's goood. sigh.

i hate being a girl sometimes. girls=emotional.

kat: ahh teresa.. summer's no fun without u here

.. i want to be there. call me selfish. call me immature. but i just want to fuckn run away right now.. i feel like it's the only way out. the only way back to feel.. like me again. i want to get away from this. as much as i want to, it wont happen. just like a lot of other things in life. heh.

clare: but heyyy teresa. no more bad thoughts!

blah blah BLAH!! ......... LiFE iS GREAT!!~
* teresa 10:15 AM l


Friday, June 18, 2004

since my sister woke me up @ 8am & made me get her stuff @ starbucks and bring her to work.. i'm awake. i started watching shrek, but ehH.. i felt like i havent written in here for awhile, sooo yippie skippie! .. a blog entry.

"i want to make sure you're okay before i let you go to sleep because i know if you go to sleep in a bad mood you'll be in a bad mood when you wake up.." - thanks clare. you complete me. and my sentences. ;D

hm. monday-friday. such a weird week. but i dont know. there was a lot of feeling like shit. and cussing all over the damn place. ugh. dont get me started on that. even my freakn BROTHER was like "why are you cussing??" sorry to those who have listened to me.. when i was.. not a very happy camper.

"you're LOUD when you're mad." - rose. haha.. HOLY SHiT.. you DONT even know. unless you're the few that are close to me. or have heard me. heh.

sorry if i was a jerk to you this past week. =/ i dont like being mean to people. sooo.. yea. sorry.

i want to say i'm stressed, but i'm not. i have NOTHiNG to be fuckn stressed over. i have my family, my thumb, my other half, my bword, my auntie/cousin, and yeaa.. work is not even that bad - considering i work 3 days/week, and yea. it's just.. i'm still all over the damn place with my feelings. i think the reason why i was being a jerk was for my own reasons. it's dumb, but whatever.

i feel like me.. but not.

i had this talk w/ my brother last night. he says he isnt talkative, but i actually talked to him for an hour & a half. til 2am. O.O! yea. i KNOW! it was fuckn AWESOME. my brother's SO fuckn COOL! or yea.. "cool".. haha.. but our conversation was very interesting. "damn, why's it gotta be all about the yellow?!" shiiiet. heh. i suck like that. "i'm scared to talk to the asians.." then i was trying to break it down trying to explain something to him. about the different types of asians. "OOOH! the GAYsians?!" haha.. soooo nice. yea.. then we got off on a tangent because he brought something up. "i want to meet chris.." YEA. we had a whole 'nother type of conversation right there. then i explained to him how.. it sucked because yea. i've never let guys talk to my siblings just cause. i mean i always tell my friends because yea.. we talk about that kind of stuff.. but when it comes to family - i rarely give them details. or names. but ugh. whatever. i'm going leave that thought unfinished. then yea. "you should like bruce!" HAHAHA.. holy crap. that's okay! bruce is more like a dai lo anyways. with his GRAY/dark silver? haha.. beemer! that he still needs to let me drive. heh. but yea. i hope my brother comes down to hang w/ me & may.

you know what - i want to say "FUCK THIS BULLSHIT!" but...... i dont know. i wish i did.

see what i mean about the cussing? ugh. =X

alright. i broke it down. silence is the worst sound in the world. and loneliness is the worst feeling in the world. - well, along w/ failure and rejection.

"you have balls!" - diana. the reason behind that is.. because i dont want to fuckn wonder the "what ifs" w/ everyone. i've been there, done that. if i waited forever, it wouldve been nice, yea.. well, maybe. but what if in the end it didnt work out and it hurt even worse? but then.. good things happen to those who are patient, yea? it sucks. good things will never happen to me given that i'm such a fuckn impatient person.

i still think i was just an illusion.

"you have a lot of experience with this.." - michele. because i WANT all these jerks to hurt me?? ugh. no fuckn way. it makes me sooooooooo FREAKN mad when.. i always get screwed over. that's like the neverfuckingending story. it's always the freakn same.

yea. i'm cursed.

this is a nice song. 'when will it be me' - yasmeen

(VERSE 1)
I see the couples are walkin' by
Feel like I
Don't wanna be alone today
So glad no one can see what I hide
Deep inside
How it feels to be
The girl who never gets the right guy
Tell me why
When there's so much I`ve got to give
I wake up reaching out in the night
Ready to hold him tight
'Til I realize
That nobody is there

(CHORUS)
When will it be me?
When will I be the one
Somebody`s dreaming of?
When's it gonna be?
When will I find my heart
Lyin' inside the arms
That never let me go?

I'd really like to know
When will it be me?

(VERSE 2)
My friends seem to have all the love
(Feels like love.)
Knocks on their door and walks right in
I know that I am worthy of what I`ve been wishing for
I can't wait no more
Love's nowhere to be found

(CHORUS)

(HOOK)
Feeling his tender touch
(Lying in his arms.)
Talkin' bout forever together
Givin' him all of my love
That's been trying to break free

Don't wanna be alone
No more
I'm telling you what I need
I want someone who loves me for me
And when will it be?
Wonder when will it be?

(CHORUS)

I ask myself
When will it be me?

yea. that's my life story written in the form of a song. by someone else. heh.. whateverr.

okay. yea. i just needed to let all of this out. if you dont know, dont ask me please. but i'm sure you all get the gist of it. teresa got screwed over once again. (what else is new?) ... yea.

BUT.. i AM super glad and blessed to have certain people in my life. you guys know who you are. or you SHOULD!! ^.~ i LOVE you guys!! <333333!!!

i love how my thoughts are never.. finished. oh well. i'm sure you're sick of me whining right about now. you know - i didnt even want to blog in the first place because people read this shit.. and the fact that it's a somewhat personal issue, yea. i dont like doing that. but right now.. i DONT CARE. about ANYTHiNG.

i hate this.

i miss the old me.

i'm such a heartless bitch now.
* teresa 10:00 AM l


Thursday, June 17, 2004

CONGRATULATIONS c/o 2004!!
to all you SEXY SENiORS @ mchs! michele, patrick, walter, eric, tien, gerard and yeaa.. whoever else! sorry i suck right now! but good luck to you all!! =D

*grr.. i want to post pictures, but the thing is being stupid, so they'll be in my photo album.
* teresa 11:09 PM l


Monday, June 14, 2004

wtf.
* teresa 1:52 AM l


Sunday, June 13, 2004

my day: good >> bad/horrible >> okay

yea. work was alright. that lady was super funny. busting out pictures & whatnot. haha.. grr.. i could've worked one more hour which would've been easy money, but yea. wanted to leave to go hang w/ the good times people. yea. that didnt happen until later.

stuff happened from the time i got off to the time i arrived at the starbucks by 4s ranch. yea. there was this guy.. oh man.. i'm betting he could tell i was upset, because he yea. he was parked next to me & my window was open and..

him: what time is it?
me: uhh.. 6:25
*cuts me off*
him: ohh.. i have a watch!
me: UHHHH..
him: yea.. that was a pick up line.. HAHAHA..

such an ugly laugh.. but it made me laugh.

vented to michele. thanks! yeaa.. FAMiLY! <33!! then went home.

went to clare's for a little bit. watched part of 'finding nemo' w/ jb. ahhh.. clare introduced me to yummy food! PiTA CHiPS!! hehe.. YUMMY!! (hey sister.. want to bring me to costco? =)) then left to go to glenda's.. weeeeee.. watched part of the game.. (who won? pistons?) then went to eat @ claim jumper. clare & i shared the chocolate chip calzone!! YUMM!! hehe..

* i hope i get to see more of the good times people NEXT SATURDAY!!! *hint hint!!*

clare told me i'm her favorite to be mean to!! yayyyy!!! =D

my sister got me money from a long time ago. harhar.. i'm COOL. shoot. you know how it says "federal reserve note"? these say "silver certificate".. yeaaa!! haha..

i hung out w/ clare 2 days in a row!! WHOAAA!! =DD!!

yea. the pita chips & calzone was not a good idear. =/ my stomach is hurting. or maybe.. it's something else. rawr.

my eyes are kind of.. tired. yes.

B L A H ! ! = /
* teresa 10:55 PM l


Saturday, June 12, 2004

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ALI!!

clare: a bonfire without the fire = BON!
clare: weee

haha.. the BON was fun!! =) saw lots of people i havent seen in awhile! starting w/ clare! who lives down the street from me! =P i got to see ali, trish, rosemarie, mark, randy (salad bar.. dressing! haha..), fireboy, paul, rhona, and andrew. yea. those are the people i knew. haha.. =P it was cool just hanging out.. watching people.. dig their holes. then eating the non roasted? err.. is that right? smores. haha.. yea. chubby bunny! 2 and a half! haha.. that was quite amusing. =) clare is evil when i drive!! but i cant be evil to her because she hates me because she knows i dont like freddy!! rawr!! haha.. but nevertheless - good stuff. =)

so before all that fun, i had work. it was surprisingly good. =) there was this asian lady who was probably around my mom's age and she kept opening the fitting room door because she wanted MY opinion on everything. hahaha.. sooo funny. she listened to what i had to say too. sooo =) then there were a pair of pants she wanted but the zipper was being whack. you know - when it doesnt zip all the way or whatever? yea. i brought it back to her fixed or whatever & she was like 'how did you do that? you have magic hands!' haha.. too bad it was allll louise. then later, she wanted to try on a dress, but said it wasnt her style, but she was like 'maybe you should wear it. you have a pretty face!' .. =))

yea. haha.. i'm a nerd. leave me aloneeeee!!

so yea. my family isnt coming at the end of this month, but my mom is coming in late august. =( booooo!! what the crap. =( but it's all good i suppose. i'm going back in july. and i'll be able to see eva & her mom & my mom in august.. =))

clare got me an awesome bookmark! from her library. haha.. the notebook. june 25th. cant waaait!! =D .. speaking of which: i need to take another trip to the library. grrr people! recommend good books please!! =)
* teresa 10:54 PM l


Friday, June 11, 2004

thursday.. was all sorts of interesting. seriously.

* thanks for the ticket nik! =)
** thanks to my bword for coming w/ me! =)
*** thanks to lena for inviting me to hang! =)

"today was such a random day!" - diana.. soooo true!

i just got paaaaaaaaaaid!! ahhhh.. SO NICE!!! direct deposit is awesome. haha.. but yea. it's kind of sad because i think that this is the biggest my paycheck will EVER be. =(

i think everybody likes a little attention.

i want to be cool like everyone else & have summer school. booo.. =(

okay. i'm hungry. no more pickles for now. =)
* teresa 12:15 PM l


Wednesday, June 09, 2004

CONGRATULATIONS TO c/o 2004!!!
or at least the SEXY SENiORS in las vegas!! i wish i could see you guys at graduation! <33!

i want more of these hershey's kisses. =X

yea. i decided to check my school email today & rawr!! .. i hate how tuition went up!! =(

i want to get my hair cut. 5 inches? ack. maybe 3 & a half.. or how about 3.89?! -.- i'm not funny. =(

i dont like the new aim. =/

yea. i kind of miss listening to trance now. haha.. darn my brother! i miss listening to korean music too. even though i have NO idea what they're singing about. haha..

when i was talking to chris last night, i realized that YEA.. my minutes are basically used on the same people. i wish i didnt suck at times & called people. =/

i want to go jogging. i should've done that this morning.

my sister called me @ 8am.. to see if i wanted to go home. til friday. -.- but then it'd only be for a day. soooo =/ booooooooo!! but OOOH!! my parents & brother are coming to visit at the end of this month!! (hopefully!!) =DD

i'm excited for sunday!! =D i cant wait to see the GOOD TiMES people!! =DD

i talked to my mom last night & yea! .. she wants me to STUDY. um. when she KNOWS i'm not taking summer school. "but you should still STUDY!" .. study WHAT?! =(

how weird. it's almost been a month since school ended.

arent these entries.. POiNTLESS?! =)

let's add some pictures for good measure.. =)


rawrrr.. attack of the k & d!! =)


aww.. breakfast club!! when's the next meeting?!


aww.. i miss my brotha!!

yea. i have NOTHING to do!! =( no one to hang out with. i'm a loserly loser. maybe i'll go visit chris at work. maybe. maybe i'll go bug the sister when she gets off work. yeaa..
* teresa 12:55 PM l


Tuesday, June 08, 2004

soooo.. to be honest, i think harry potter was just an 'okay' movie. /)_(\ yea. i think it's because i read the book. the book was wayy better. i think they lacked some explanations, but hey.. they did have some funny moments. =) and dang - they look SO grown up!! i was like aww.. yea. =P k. that's all on that. =)

OH! i got the cutest cd case yesterday!! its a COW!! =D

dang. i hope it rains. haha.. i kind of miss the hottness of las vegas. =X shHh!! haha..

i was reading my brother's blog.. haha.. and i was looking at his playlist. ew. "5 nearing 6 thousand" songs.. i dont even have 5 HUNDRED! -.- he's been sending me some pretty cool songs though! =) ayu is cool. haha.. =)

you know.. the other day, i was looking through people's xangas. and dang. you know what bugs me? those 13 year olds advertising their relationships.. i love you.. blahblah. do you KNOW what love is?! then the whole "forever" thing when they just got together earlier that month. or better yet, earlier that week. -.- um. kayy!! i dont know. GRRR.. it makes me.. ugh. i'm such a YEA.. it just makes me mad when people confuse love for lust. (or yea, the other way around)..

after reading another person's xanga w/ a list of what love & infatuation is and reading monica's xanga.. i dont know. i'm kind of questioning why/how people can have such profound effects on another. maybe it's because some want to love and be loved. maybe we want something good in our lives. but are we just fooling ourselves? for those 13 year olds - yea.. i think they'll realize later on what love really is. but then again, there are different forms of love, dont you think? i think love is a form of affection. i can say i love my family. i love my friends. but would it be better to say 'i care for..' instead of love? because that's basically the same thing, right? eh. no. nevermind. heh. in some instances. i dont know. i'm not saying that i know what love is.. soooooo i guess i cant blame them/everyone for being in love with "love."

grr.. why did this topic come up?! haha.. grrr.. okay. since i REALLY liked how monica wrote about all of this, but on a more specific topic. yea. here's an excerpt from her entry:

"'love' to us is jus a form of attachment. i think some of us are to young to really kno. often times people mistaken passion for love. i dunt think you realize if you really love someone until you've been with someone else, and it jus isnt the same. sure, that "someone else" is going to end up jus being the receiving end of the deal and get hurt, but what can they do. being on cloud nine is great, jus like anyone who has been there have said. my babe this. my babe that. i love you. i miss u. but do you really? or is it jus an illusion? something you made up for yourself. something to occupy yourself with. are you really happy or are you happy because you're "suppose" to be. you have someone you think loves you, cares for you, while there are those who dont have that someone. after being zapped back from reality, you realize stuff that you've thought or said werent true. i dunno, mayb it's jus being caught up in it all or something. yes, no. i do, i dont. real, fake."

yea. w/ that last thought, i'm going to go read. =)
* teresa 4:05 PM l


Monday, June 07, 2004

HAPPY *SEXY* 17th
BIRTHDAY MICHELE!!!

i LOVE YOU!! <33!!
* teresa 6:33 PM l


Sunday, June 06, 2004



the k & t!! stop light pictures, what?! =)


my k & d!! <33!! i miss your guyses faces!!


* KATRiNA!! i want the rest of the pictures please!!! =))
* teresa 7:57 PM l




they're jacking me of hours this week. ughh..

sunday/6.o6: 1:00-6:00pm
friday/6.11: 6:15-9:30pm
saturday/6.12: 1:00-6:00pm

whatever. where should i apply? hmm..

yesterday was jane & jermiah's party. haha.. it was fun watching them get caked by jane's dad!! haha.. =D it was awesome seeing some people i havent seen in awhile too!! especially the bf that lives half a mile down the street from me! =DD!!

i havent had any though provoking entries lately. =/

i think i will go shopping today. =P shoot. my sister pointed it out. haha.. 20% employee discount w/ an additional 15% off for people w/ macys cards?? hm. haha.. they already have sales which is mostly 50% off.. soooo =))

okay. i'm going to go shower. read. then go to work.

[ cont'd @ 12:23 pm ]

dang. how slow am i?! haha.. i was cutting the price tag off of the shirt i got from forever 21 & i was looking at the label & it said XXI. i was like 'whaat?.. OOOOH!!' -.- dangg.. yea.

i feel fat. (o'.'o)

i'm sad. my sister & little cousins are going to watch harry potter 3 before me!! i mean dang.. it's bad enough my brother did, but GRR!! =( oh well.. i get to go on tuesday!! oOooweeEeeeee!!!!

i feel sick. =/ i dont know.

i was looking at clothes on macys website.. and yea. i am DEFiNiTELY going shopping after work. =))
* teresa 9:56 AM l


Friday, June 04, 2004

my brother is fun. =)

d (10:31:40 AM): NO TERESA
d (10:31:44 AM): dad isnt lettme see harry potter
d (10:31:45 AM): =[

d (10:32:05 AM): call right now
d (10:32:10 AM): and say take danny to harry potter

d (10:32:16 AM): do it please
-so i call & ask, but my dad kept saying why-

d (10:38:43 AM): ill ask again in an hour
d (10:38:44 AM): hahahah

SOOOOOO great. cracked me up. =DD

so i'm just sitting here online because i'm bored & i dont feel like reading anymore. rawr. i hate when books go on & on about insignificant stuff. you know? when it gets super detailed? uhh.. yea. =) just like some of my BLOGS! harhar.. ANYWAYS! yea. i have 2 hours to kill. =T

i havent done much this summer. it's kind of sad. =/

on tuesday, i just stayed at home. gyea. what what?! haha.. laundry is fun. going to the library is fun too. =)) i remember clare dropping by on her way home. =)) so we sat outside even though my grandma tried to get us to go in.. haha.. & yea. we talked. good stuff. =DD

on wednesday, i met up w/ lena @ utc. shopping for shoes SUCK! well, shopping for dressy comfortable ones. blar. i ended up getting shoes from pacsun after making two weird calls to my sister & other half. haha.. =P shopping=BAD! hm. then i went to miramar w/ michele. whooo!! michele drove! vrooom! haha.. fun stuff. lots of venting. always great. =)) i missed talking about stuff w/ her. <3 then eatinig @ islands. yum! but fattness. =( then no more!

i'm really starting to think about getting a 2nd job.. i want more hours at macys, but i think they dont need me for weekdays. err. whatevers clevers.

i watched 'the day after tomorrow' w/ adam yesterday. i'm kind of eh on it. undecided i suppose. it was good. but scary at the same time? in a sense where i kept thinking 'what IF that DID happen?' blahblah. yea. cuRrazy. erick called me. =)) haha.. sooo mean. "be strong! dont call back!" .. 'dont judge me!' haha.. i missed talking to him. =)

now i have 1 hour. dang. it takes me forever to write. haha.. because i suck like that & get sidetracked. like now? hm! =P

so.. i'm kind of sad w/ the fact that i only see a limited amount of people and it's SUMMER!! mm.. it doesnt work. =/ yea. i havent seen a lot of people. oh wells. i'm the only one complaining. no one else cares. =)

BUT! i AM excited that UC kids are almost done!! i cant wait to see people after the.. 17th.. i think?! my 2 favorite sd guys should be back. kevin & vinnie! =))

i have to be in vegas for sure on july 22nd. but the problem is.. i dont know if i'm going to drive or fly. i want to drive.. to save money. but i dont want to go by myself. hm! soooo CLARE?! DiANA?! ROAD TRiP?! this is super advance notice.. so =P if no one goes w/ me.. i GUESS i'll dish out 200 for a plane ticket. =/ (appeal to pity - is it working?! =P)

holy shit. waldenbooks just called me back. haha.. after i turned in my application.. a good 2 (or more) months ago?! i GUESS!! but they need people for weekends, sooo =(

i get to watch HARRY POTTER on tuesday!!!! =DDDDD!!!!!

rawr. okay. i need to find something to keep me entertained. have a great weekend guys!! =)
* teresa 3:36 PM l


Tuesday, June 01, 2004

since i dont want to forget.. i'll put this here..

6.o1 ll HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY ANNIE!!
6.o3 ll HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY JANE & JERMIAH!!
6.o4 ll HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY DANA!!

.. =)))
* teresa 11:27 AM l

LINKS

old blogs one two three

photo album one two three

credits blogger blogskins haloscan br0kennsmiile

archives
2003 : 07 08 09 10 11 12
2004 : 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
2005 : 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
2006 : 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
2007 : 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
2008 : 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09